Today, while in the squat deck, staring at my reflection as I slowly worked through my 3 sets, I got to thinking about how strange a concept body confidence is. All the time in the gym I'm surrounded by people looking to lose weight, tone up, get "dat ass", strengthen their body and mind, and it occurs so me how strange body confidence is, at least for myself.
Body confidence has two veins for me, There is the confidence I feel within my own skin in what can best be described as a "look at me and my lovely figure, don't you envy me?" sort of way. Though I don't feel like that 90% of the time. As far as aesthetics go, I dislike my body greatly. I dont have a toned tummy, I dont have thighs that will crack walnuts, and my back isnt defined. I am never happy with what I see in the mirror. Never.
On the other hand, I am confident in my body in the sense that I adore being able to run long distances, lift weights and know I am strong -and getting stronger. I like knowing my calves are defined and capable of propelling me up a steep hill at a hard paced run. I love knowing that I will be ready and fit for the line when the time comes to get back to shooting, because I can lift heavy weights. It makes me deliriously happy to know that I am fit and strong.
Just because society says you have to look a certain way doesn't mean you can't feel it inside instead.
Personally, I would rather feel good inside than be guilted into never looking "good enough" on the outside.
The fact is, I may never look like a fitness model and thats okay, because the ability to run, to life weights, to feel good is worth so much more.
Sorry if this wasn't the most coherent piece.