Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Things They Don't Tell You About... In Laws

In Laws... I know you shuddered reading those two tiny words, you can admit it to me, because I do to. Anyone in a longterm relationship can understand; The In-Laws are an ever present fixture in your life, whether you know it or not. 

Image: Valley Girl Gone Country 

Before I go into this I must preface this with a disclaimer. I'm in a relationship for almost four years now, and I refer to his Mam as the MIL. That's just handier for me than anything else. And since this relationship is a stable, loving and has been very much maintained over the last four years, I can confidently make the assumption that it's not going anywhere any time soon. So with that said, I'm going to get into it. Lord, here we go!! 

You wont ever be good enough...

You may have been working under the guise that his or her mother and/or father loves you. You're a shining beacon of love and stability for their child, after all. But they don't. Yes they may be extremely fond of you, think you're amazing as a human, but most of the time parents are never happy with their son or daughters partner. If you're going out with the oldest or god forbid an only child, you're up shit creek. Sorry, but there it is. You could be married for 10 years, have 3 kids and be as in love as when you were starting out, and you wont ever be good enough for their firstborn. You might as well accept it now. Unless you take a bullet for them, you're always going to be "upgradable" in the eyes of the In-Laws. 

You are allowed to hate them...

Personally, I've nothing but great time for C's family, but there are those of you out there not so enamoured by your OH's folks. I promise you, that is 100% okay. You are allowed to not like them, you're allowed to hate them. What you're not allowed to do is to bitch about them to your OH. They wont thank you for that insight. Yes the MIL might rearrange your kitchen cupboards or comment that the newly polished mantel is dusty, but you just need to find a neutral source to rant and rave to. If I have to rant, I'll always pick someone who doesn't know the parent I'm ranting about, and go at it like a woman possessed. Hating them is absolutely okay, but you have to let it out to someone who your effing and blinding wont hurt. 

In Laws have in laws... 

It seems like the world is adept at forgetting that to be an In-Law, you will probably have had to have an In-Law experience yourself. You could learn a thing or two from yours. If they're awful, just plain mean and you despise them, do everything in your power to remember how they made you feel, and then use that to be the best In Law you can possibly be when the time comes! If you're having a great time with yours, then aspire to be like them in the future. The cycle doesn't have to remain the same. If you hate them, cling to this and remind yourself that you hated the whole debacle, so your kids wont have to worry about you being an arsehole to their spouses. 

There you have it, 3 things that don't crop up as common knowledge about your Mother and Father in Law. 

I hope this helped, or at least was mildly enjoyable to read! 
If you have any other topics you want me to cover, just name it below!